June 29th, 2008

moscot, : eye glasses, zeiss

Disappointments are Inevitable

I've come to realize that disappointments are inevitable. People are after all animals--too many of us forget that--as such we often act on instinct without even realizing it...I was out doing my errands earlier: Laundry, returning The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a truly beautiful, deeply saddening film--I recommend it.

I cannot tell you how many couples I passed.  As a single girl, I cannot tell you how discontent I feel when I am reminded that I am alone.  Couples have something I am sorely lacking: Togetherness and one would hope, love.  My parent and my friends love me, but I have not known carnal love in quite some time.  I had a NSA arrangement with an older guy, but he never spent the night and every time I wanted see him, he was unavailable... After a month of being turned down, I broke it off...I am getting older now and I need a guy I can rely on, someone who will gladly spend the night after we've been dating for a bit.  A guy who's not afraid to appreciate my beauty and my brains.

I admit I've been married to my work for 10 years, building my online portfolio and respectable writing credits.  Now when I step away from the computer I look around, I realize that all of my friends are married or in committed relationships, so they won't help me meet guys.  I have recently made an effort to get out more.  I also need to learn how to appreciate small talk.  Guys ask me for directions all the time.  Like an idiot I help them out and then go on my merry way, without bothering to make small talk.  After all, if a guy doesn't know me yet, he's got to find a way to strike up a conversation, even if the topic is something lame; everybody's got to start somewhere...
  • Current Mood: lonely lonely